---
title: "Bystanders and Upstanders"
description: "Understand the bystander role — that when someone witnesses unkind or unfair behaviour, they have a choice: they can be a passive bystander (doing nothing), join in, or be an upstander (speaking up or"
canonical: https://lightmysky.com/learn/personal-and-social-development/bystanders-and-upstanders-mt_yCmYV9ruQu
source: https://lightmysky.com/learn/personal-and-social-development/bystanders-and-upstanders-mt_yCmYV9ruQu.md
retrieved: 2026-10-19
---

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# Bystanders and Upstanders

Understand the bystander role — that when someone witnesses unkind or unfair behaviour, they have a choice: they can be a passive bystander (doing nothing), join in, or be an upstander (speaking up or getting help) — and develop the confidence to be an upstander

Subject: Personal & Social Development · Area: Responsible Decision-Making · Ages 7 to 9
Page: https://lightmysky.com/learn/personal-and-social-development/bystanders-and-upstanders-mt_yCmYV9ruQu

## Ready when they can

- Explain the difference between a bystander and an upstander
- Describe at least two safe actions an upstander can take
- Give an example of a time they or someone they know stood up for someone else

## Lesson: Three Choices When Someone Is Being Unkind

When you see someone being treated in an unkind or unfair way, you always have a choice. You can join in. You can watch and say nothing, which makes you a bystander. Staying silent can let the unkindness carry on. Or you can help, which makes you an upstander. Telling a trusted adult helps, because an adult can step in and stop what is unsafe.

*(drawing: Every time something unkind happens, you stand at these same three doors. Only one of them helps.)*

**Example.** At lunch, kids start laughing at what Priya is eating. Deng could laugh too. He could stay quiet. Instead, he says, 'That is not cool,' and asks Priya to sit with him. Deng chose to be an upstander.

You do not need to be the boldest to be an upstander. Safe upstander actions include saying a calm line like 'That is not okay,' walking away together with the person being targeted, or telling a teacher or another trusted adult what you saw.

**Tip.** You do not have to fix everything by yourself. Getting an adult's help is still being an upstander. It is one of the safest moves you can make.

**Recap.** When something unkind happens, you can join in, stay silent as a bystander, or step up as an upstander, and even a small safe action counts.

## Practice

8 questions on this page, each with its working shown.

## Needs first

- [Vocabulary: ethics and citizenship](https://lightmysky.com/learn/personal-and-social-development/vocabulary-ethics-and-citizenship-mt_h-z88yf9Pn)
- [Understanding Bullying](https://lightmysky.com/learn/personal-and-social-development/understanding-bullying-mt_I9iSzpGRn5)
- [Everyday Kindness and Care](https://lightmysky.com/learn/personal-and-social-development/everyday-kindness-and-care-mt_lAvS72LOUO)

## Opens up

- [Prejudice and Discrimination](https://lightmysky.com/learn/personal-and-social-development/prejudice-and-discrimination-mt_HFN1pGASpZ)
- [Peer Pressure and Resisting It](https://lightmysky.com/learn/personal-and-social-development/peer-pressure-and-resisting-it-mt_JivEBTD_KV)