Saying no and meaning it

Personal & Social Development · Friendship & Cooperation · ages 14-15

Name ______________________ Date ____________

You can decline a request without giving a reason or offering an alternative.
Circle one: True False
Which sentence includes a clear limit, one reason and an alternative?
- I do not lend money because I am saving, but I can help you plan a budget.
- I might lend money, but first tell me why you need it.
- I do not lend money; you must stop asking other people for loans.
Which decision is yours to make when a friend sends late-night messages?
- Whether your friend approves of your bedtime.
- Whether you reply to messages after ten.
- Whether your friend feels upset.
Ari says, "I cannot join tonight, but I can meet Saturday." A friend asks again in a safe conversation. Which reply keeps the same limit using different words?
- Maybe tonight, if you can persuade me to change my plans.
- I will join tonight if you accept my next no.
- Tonight does not work for me; I can meet on Saturday.
Tom cannot help at Friday's club event because of rehearsal. He wants to offer help without volunteering anyone else's time. Which reply fits?
- I cannot help Friday; my sister will help without being asked.
- I cannot help Friday because of rehearsal, but I can make signs Thursday.
- I can skip rehearsal and help Friday instead.
A friend feels disappointed when you decline an invitation. Which response respects their feelings and your limit?
- Explain until they are happy with your answer.
- Treat disappointment as proof that your friend disrespects your decision.
- Acknowledge their disappointment while keeping your answer.
A cousin demands your savings, threatens to hurt you and blocks the doorway after you refuse. What should take priority?
- Repeat your refusal until the cousin agrees.
- Stay to explain why the money matters to you.
- Seek safety and help from a trusted adult.
Kai has stated a limit. Each new explanation leads to more argument. Kai feels safe. What can Kai try next without changing the limit?
- Restate the limit, then end the discussion if the pressure continues.
- Keep sharing more private details until the friend approves your limit.
- Accept the request until the friend agrees to let you return to your limit.

Answer key

For grown-ups. Fold this page away before handing over the rest.

Saying no and meaning it W1-mt_JpJ4qi-SP8-s1

True · A clear no can stand on its own. Reasons and alternatives are optional, and you do not have to share private details.
I do not lend money because I am saving, but I can help you plan a budget. · The budget sentence gives the limit, saving as the reason and planning help as the alternative. Other clear refusals can be valid without all three parts.
Whether you reply to messages after ten. · You decide whether to reply. You can ask your friend to message earlier, but you cannot decide their opinion or feelings.
Tonight does not work for me; I can meet on Saturday. · The Saturday reply still declines tonight and leaves Saturday available. The meaning stays the same even though the words change.
I cannot help Friday because of rehearsal, but I can make signs Thursday. · Tom keeps his Friday limit and offers his own help on Thursday. He cannot promise his sister's time without her agreement.
Acknowledge their disappointment while keeping your answer. · You can care about a friend's feelings without changing your answer. Disappointment alone does not show disrespect.
Seek safety and help from a trusted adult. · Threats and a blocked exit make safety the priority. You do not owe another explanation or have to win the argument.
Restate the limit, then end the discussion if the pressure continues. · Kai can stop adding explanations, restate the limit and end the discussion. The friend's approval is not required.