Sympathy Versus Empathy

Personal & Social Development · Empathy & Social Awareness · ages 12-13

Name ______________________ Date ____________

Your friend explains why they're upset. You say, 'So it sounds like you were left out, and that really stung.' What listening skill is this?
- Paraphrasing
- Giving advice
- Changing the subject
Which sentence is sympathy, not empathy?
- I feel so sorry for you.
- What has that been like for you?
- I'm trying to picture what this is like from where you're standing.
True or false: constantly absorbing other people's pain without any breaks can leave you feeling drained. This is called compassion fatigue.
Circle one: True False
Ben's grandma is in the hospital. Zoe says, 'That's awful, I'm so sorry.' Priya says, 'That sounds really scary. What's going through your mind right now?' Who is showing empathic curiosity?
- Zoe
- Priya
- Neither, they're both showing sympathy
Which question is an open question that invites someone to share more?
- Are you okay?
- What was that like for you?
- Do you want some water?
A friend is venting about a fight with their sibling. What's the best first response?
- Jump in with three ways to fix it
- Say 'Have you tried just ignoring them?'
- Listen and reflect what you're hearing before offering any advice
Amir listens to his friends' problems every day and starts feeling exhausted and numb. What should Amir do?
- Stop caring about his friends' problems completely
- Keep listening the same way and push through the tiredness
- Notice the signs of compassion fatigue and make space to rest or talk to someone he trusts
Which of these sounds supportive but is actually more sympathy than real empathy?
- At least it's not worse, it could be a lot worse.
- That sounds really hard. Tell me more about what happened.
- I don't fully get it, but I'm here and I'm listening.

Answer key

For grown-ups. Fold this page away before handing over the rest.

Sympathy Versus Empathy W1-mt_VA126P6Wp5-s1

Paraphrasing · Paraphrasing means repeating back what you heard in your own words, so your friend knows you were listening.
I feel so sorry for you. · Sympathy feels sorry for someone from a distance. Empathy tries to understand their experience, often by asking or reflecting.
True · Empathy has a cost. Without rest or support, staying present for others can wear a person down.
Priya · Priya is genuinely curious about Ben's inner world, not just naming the situation as sad.
What was that like for you? · Open questions can't be answered with just yes or no, so they invite the person to say more.
Listen and reflect what you're hearing before offering any advice · Most people need to feel heard before they want solutions. Ask before you advise.
Notice the signs of compassion fatigue and make space to rest or talk to someone he trusts · Protecting your own wellbeing doesn't mean you stop caring. It means noticing when you're drained and taking care of yourself too.
At least it's not worse, it could be a lot worse. · Minimising someone's pain by comparing it to something worse shuts the conversation down instead of opening it up. That's a sympathy trap, not empathy.