Helping Others Resolve Conflicts
Help willing peers discuss safe everyday disagreements by listening to each side, checking their views and helping them consider a fair solution. Recognise when to pause or seek a trusted adult, especially for threats, harm or bullying.
What a learner can do afterwards
- For a safe disagreement, give each willing person a turn to explain before suggesting a plan
- Help each person explain their view and check that summaries match what they meant
- Suggest a safe, fair solution that both parties can freely accept, and seek a trusted adult for threats, harm or bullying
1 · Read
You have practised working out your own disagreements and learned about the mediator role. You can offer to help with a small, safe disagreement if both people want help and you feel comfortable. A mediator helps people hear each other and consider a fair plan. You do not have to settle every disagreement your friends bring to you.
Let each person explain without interruptions. Ask what happened and what they want. Hear both views before judging an everyday disagreement. A louder voice or a closer friendship is not a reason to skip someone. Help them speak to each other: 'Tell each other what matters to you, one at a time.'
A possible plan needs both people's free agreement and must be safe and follow rules. Jordan and Priya want the tire swing. Both ask Casey for help. After hearing and checking each view, Casey suggests five minutes each. They both freely agree, and the playground rules allow it.
Repeat each person's meaning in your own words and ask whether you understood. Let them correct you. Ask for possible plans. A fair plan takes each person's needs into account. It does not always mean equal turns. Check that both freely agree and that the plan is safe and follows the rules. Do not force an apology or agreement.
Pause if someone does not want to talk or you feel uncomfortable. Ask a trusted adult for help if the disagreement stays hard to manage. For threats, hurting or bullying, do not try to settle it yourself. Move to a safe place and tell a trusted adult. You do not need to hear both stories before getting help for danger.
For threats, hurting or bullying, get to safety and tell a trusted adult.
For a safe disagreement, check both want help, hear each view and consider a fair plan without pressure. For threats, harm or bullying, move to safety and tell a trusted adult.
Original lesson, questions and flashcards written for this dataset about voluntary peer mediation and seeking adult help.
Three original readings written for this dataset about choosing whether to help, checking meaning and considering fair plans.
More to read
You can choose whether to help
Two classmates disagree about where to put a display. They ask you to help them talk. Before joining in, check that both want help and that you feel comfortable. You can offer to listen while they take turns explaining.
You can also ask an adult to help. Being their friend does not make you responsible for settling every disagreement. If someone does not want to talk, do not pressure them.
Threats, hurting and bullying need a trusted adult. Move to a safe place and tell an adult what happened. Do not delay help while trying to hear both stories.
Check what each person means
Ari says, 'Our display changed while I was away.' Kim says, 'I thought we had agreed to move it.' Hear each explanation without interruptions.
You might say, 'Ari, you expected the display to stay where it was. Kim, you thought moving it was agreed. Did I understand?' Let each person correct your summary.
Repeating a view does not prove that every detail in it is true. It checks what the person meant. You can understand a feeling without approving a harmful action. After checking the views, help the classmates explain what they need and consider possible plans.
Check a plan before using it
For a small, safe disagreement, invite each person to suggest a plan. Ask how the plan would meet each person's needs. They might take turns, share a task or choose another option. A fair plan does not always divide everything equally.
Before using a plan, check that both people freely agree and that it is safe and follows the rules. Someone saying yes because they feel pressured is not freely agreeing. Do not force an apology or a handshake.
If they cannot agree, they can pause or ask a trusted adult for help. A mediator can support the talk without making everyone accept a solution.
2 · Watch
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Where it sits
Optional connections
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Where this leads
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8 questions wait behind this lesson, each with its answer explained. Every answer feeds the sky: stars light as they are learned, and dim when it is time to come back.