Feelings Versus Actions
Understand that feelings and actions are separate — you can feel something strongly without having to act on it straight away
What a learner can do afterwards
- emotion regulation development research
- Effects of Age and Gender in Emotion Regulation (PMC 2020)
- expressive control to emotion regulation (PMC)
The lesson
A feeling is something that happens inside you, like a wave of anger, fear, or jealousy. An action is what you actually do, like yelling, hiding, or grabbing something. Feelings and actions are two different things, even when they feel joined together.
Nina feels so angry when her sister changes the TV channel. Her hands want to grab the remote back. Instead, she takes a breath and asks her sister to take turns. Nina still felt angry. She just picked a different action.
When a big feeling hits, try counting to five before you do anything. That gap is enough time to choose a kind action instead of a fast one.
You can feel something strongly and still choose what you do next. Feeling it and doing it are not the same.
Watch it
Where it sits
Learn first
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8 questions wait behind this lesson, each with its answer explained. Every answer feeds the sky: stars light as they are learned, and dim when it is time to come back.