LightMySky

Identity and Belonging in Adolescence

Understand that adolescence involves active construction of identity, leading to emotional complexity around questions of 'who am I?'; explore the emotional dynamics of belonging to multiple groups simultaneously (family, peer group, cultural or religious identity); understand social comparison and its intensification through social media; recognise that identity is not fixed and that uncertainty about identity is normal, not a sign of failure; develop language for navigating emotions tied to group membership and personal values

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The lesson

During your early teen years, you start actively building your sense of who you are. This can bring up big questions like 'What do I care about?' and 'Where do I fit in?' Feeling unsettled while you work this out is expected, not a warning sign.

Try it together

Mia feels quiet and careful around her grandparents, loud and joking with her soccer team, and thoughtful when she's with her cousins at the mosque. She used to think this meant she was being fake. Really, she's showing different true sides of herself depending on which group she's with.

With grandparentsWith soccer teamWith cousins at mosque
One Mia, three groups. Each group brings out a different true side of her.

Adolescence also means belonging to several groups at once: family, friends, and sometimes a cultural or religious community. These groups don't always want the same things from you, and holding them all together can bring up mixed feelings. Social media adds another layer, because it's easy to compare your everyday life to other people's edited highlights, which can make your own life feel smaller than it is.

Good to know

When you feel unsure about who you are or where you belong, try naming it plainly: 'I'm still figuring this out.' That sentence is more accurate, and kinder, than deciding something is wrong with you.

Your identity is still being built, so feeling unsure about it sometimes is a normal part of that work, not a sign of failure.

Watch it

Where it sits

Where this leads

Jobs that lean on this skill. Follow one to see everything it is built on.

Then practise

8 questions wait behind this lesson, each with its answer explained. Every answer feeds the sky: stars light as they are learned, and dim when it is time to come back.

Identity and Belonging in Adolescence · Personal & Social Development, ages 12 to 13 · LightMySky