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Bystanders and Upstanders

Understand the bystander role — that when someone witnesses unkind or unfair behaviour, they have a choice: they can be a passive bystander (doing nothing), join in, or be an upstander (speaking up or getting help) — and develop the confidence to be an upstander

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What a learner can do afterwards

  • Explain the difference between a bystander and an upstander
  • Describe at least two safe actions an upstander can take
  • Give an example of a time they or someone they know stood up for someone else

The lesson

When you see someone being treated in an unkind or unfair way, you always have a choice. You can join in. You can watch and say nothing, which makes you a bystander. Or you can help, which makes you an upstander.

Join inStay quietHelp
Every time something unkind happens, you stand at these same three doors. Only one of them helps.
Try it together

At lunch, some kids start laughing at what Priya is eating. Deng could laugh along too. He could stay quiet and keep eating his own lunch. Instead, he says, 'That is not cool,' and asks Priya to sit with him. Deng chose to be an upstander.

Being an upstander does not mean you have to be the boldest person in the room. Safe upstander actions include saying a short, calm line like 'That is not okay,' walking away together with the person being targeted, or telling a teacher or another trusted adult what you saw.

Good to know

You do not have to fix everything by yourself. Getting an adult's help is still being an upstander. It is one of the safest and most powerful moves you can make.

When something unkind happens, you can join in, stay silent as a bystander, or step up as an upstander, and even a small safe action counts.

Watch it

Where it sits

Where this leads

Jobs that lean on this skill. Follow one to see everything it is built on.

Then practise

8 questions wait behind this lesson, each with its answer explained. Every answer feeds the sky: stars light as they are learned, and dim when it is time to come back.

Bystanders and Upstanders · Personal & Social Development, ages 7 to 9 · LightMySky